1 SENTENCE SUMMARY: This book provides readers with the tools to navigate difficult conversations with empathy, understanding, and skill.
“Be curious and generous; assume that everyone is doing the best they can with the skills and understanding that they have”.
Quick Info

Category: Communication Skills
Publish Date: 2010-11-02
# Pages: 352
ISBN: 0143118447
Where to Get It:
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Table of Contents
Overview
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to improve their communication skills.
This book provides readers with an in-depth understanding of how to navigate difficult conversations and ultimately achieve better outcomes.
Stone introduces a simple three-step process to improve communication, which includes preparing for the conversation, navigating the conversation, and learning from the conversation.
With practical advice and real world examples, Difficult Conversations provides readers with the tools and techniques to become more effective communicators and successful problem-solvers.
4 Key Lessons from Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone
1. Prepare for Difficult Conversations
Prepare for a difficult conversation by taking some time for yourself to think about the conversation.
Consider the people involved, the subject matter, and your goals for the conversation.
Think about the different perspectives or interests that may be involved and how you can address each of them.
Practice what you would like to say and how you would like to say it.
This will help you stay focused and on track during the conversation.
2. Listen and Understand
During the conversation, be sure to listen actively to what the other person has to say.
Don’t interrupt and don’t assume that you know what the other person is thinking.
Listen carefully and ask questions to clarify their position.
This will help you understand their perspective and it will also show the other person that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
3. Speak Openly and Honestly
Speak openly and honestly during the conversation.
Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and opinions.
Make sure to use “I” statements, such as “I think” or “I feel”, to avoid making accusations or blaming the other person.
This will help to keep the conversation constructive and allow both of you to work together to find a solution.
4. Use Agreements to Move Forward
Once you have listened to each other and expressed your feelings and opinions, use agreements to move forward.
Agreements can take the form of a compromise, an agreement to disagree, or an action plan.
This will help to ensure that both parties are satisfied with the outcome of the conversation.
Who Should Read It
This book would be useful for anyone in a leadership role, or those who are in charge of employee relations.
It may also be useful for those who want to learn how to handle difficult conversations in their personal lives.
Where to Get It
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About Douglas Stone
Douglas Stone is a professor at Harvard Law School, a mediator, and one of the founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project.
He has co-authored several books on negotiation, communication, and interpersonal relationships, including Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most.
He has over 25 years of experience helping clients manage difficult conversations, and his research has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Harvard Business Review.
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Other Communication Skills Books you may Like:
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- Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan
- Effective Communication Skills by Keith Coleman
- Effective Communication Skills by Robert Cunningham
- Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell
Over to You
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Thanks a lot,
Simon

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